Does he love me?How can I tell what he feels?

How can I tell if he's in love with me and please no stupid answers just for the points.We don't live in the same town and he was my first love.We're both in another relationship but it seems we're not over yet.We never had a ual relationship, we never had and I taught that maybe he wants me for , but he's not making any moves towards it.We talk often on messenger.His GF saw 2 of our talks and he promised her he'll stop, but we are still talking.Most of the time are just general things but sometimes we do play with words and flirt.I still have feelings for him but I don't know what are they.We met once just to talk as we haven't seen each other in ages(more then 10 years, we started talking just a year ago) and we just jumped on each other.Nothing happened finally as we were in a kind of public place, but I felt that he did want me.He used to tell me that he has feelings for me and then just said that we can't do anything as we are seeing other people, he said that as he is with her he can't tell me his real feelings, then he just didn't want to acknowledge that he feels anything, he has a kid as well and he will never leave them.He still wants to be friends and we don't talk about having , just talk about how things are, what we've done, general.I feel like he still wants me to be part of his life as much as I want him in mine, and we both prefer to just talk , just to make sure that we won't lose touch again, like at least to be friends.But are times when I feel that he wants more, when we talk he always asks to see me on my webcam and let me seeing him.But as I said we just talk rubbish things, just to keep in touch and we don't talk on a regular basis, when it happens.2 times she discovered our talks and he said that he doesn't want to risk a thing anymore and we should just stop, but we still carry on as it seems that we can't stop.I just don't know what he wants from me and what he feels because as I said he's not making any proposition about having so that I may think that its the that he's after(he used to and after we met and saw how we just couldn't help touching and kissing I think he got scarred and he's afraid to do it, as he knows that if we do sleep together that would be a big thing and he would feel really guilty towards his GF).Now, because we try our best to just talk about weather, holidays, adventures and day by day events he feels less guilty, but as I said from time to time we can't help and flirt, say words with double meaning etc.I am confused.If you ask about my current relationship: I do love him, my current BF but something is missing, when we have sex its no sparkle, I haven't slept with any other man then him.When I met my ex and started kissing and touching I felt that I was having an just as he touched me and kiss me and he was equally thrown.He's really pionate but once he told me that he's not having sex often with his GF as its more intense if its rare, which is weird because I know him how pionate he is and he just isn't the kind that has sex once a week so I was just wondering if its maybe because the sex is not that good with her?And when we started talking again, after more then 10 years he was quite rough, very serious and seemed old, again weird as he was full of life.But after we started talking he became he's usual self, funny, smiling, laughing, he actually said that he hasn't smiled in a long time and I just promised him that he will now that we met again.Oh...I just don't know.Thanks for reading and for patience!